Wanting for Nothing
by Pseud Odeki
Summary: They had never wanted anything as much as they wanted each other. AU/AH BxE
1. Chapter One

_**Disclaimer:**_ Recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Recognizable plot belongs to Fox, and whoever it was that wrote the screenplay for The Waitress.

**Bella's Baby will not be named Renessme**. I'm sure we all agree…it's a horrible name. I think SMeyer was desperate or something. I haven't come up with a name yet, but I'm sure you all can help me.

Anyway, here's the background information:

**Renée's and Charlie's roles are switched in this fanfiction**, thus I'm changing up the names. Renée's name is now Charlie, though her full name is Charlotte. Charlie's name is Ren. He is not in this fanfiction at all. **Here's a brief background story of him, just for fun**:

_Ren, after leaving his wife, lost all of his life savings in a shady pyramid scheme. His girlfriend promptly left him for a lawyer named Jo-Anne. Shortly after, he found his faith in God and joined a convent to begin his training to become a nun. Due to the fact that all nuns are women, he realized he must pose as one himself. He goes by Renée, now._

**Bella never met her father once**. She refers to him as the Sperm Donor. Her mother was the responsible one. Her father was the flighty one and **ran off with her mother's best friend **before Bella was born. **He didn't realize Charlie was pregnant**, but Charlie realized that she'd rather he be happy doing his own thing and being ignorant, rather than make him hate her by forcing him to come back because of their daughter. She also knew she didn't want to be trapped in an unhappy relationship with a man that didn't love her anymore.

Charlie struggled to make ends meet for her, and her daughter. She worked hard enough to make enough money for them to live with all of the things you need to grow up, and she made enough to send Bella to college. **She loved her daughter more than she loved herself**. **They discovered her Breast Cancer when it was already too far past any help**. **She died when Bella was seventeen**.

Bella, who needed someone to depend on, shortly after married the boy she thought she loved while she was in High School. However, when she married him, all of her money and possessions became his as well by law. He took control of the situation, forcing her to not go to college because he couldn't go as well.** Bella lived the next several years being mentally abused by Mike**, who **treats her like an object** that is supposed to take care of him before she does anything else. Like a pet rabbit, if rabbits could cook and talk, and if you fucked your pet rabbit whenever you felt the urge to do so.

* * *

I stared at the pink line. It was wrong. It had to be.

There was no way this was happening, because it _couldn't _happen. I couldn't be pregnant. If I was pregnant, then everything I'd planned, everything I'd worked so hard to prepare would be ruined. I wasn't pregnant. There was just no way.

"One line or two lines? One line or two lines!" Rosalie asked, panicked for me. Since I seemed too strangely calm as I watched the destruction of my life crash around me.

"Two lines! The control line, and the other line—the bad line—the 'yes' line!"

"Let me see."

I handed the test to her and she examined it, mumbled her condolences. But I wasn't there. I was gone.

_I Don't Want Mike's Baby pie. With keish, and egg…with a ham center…_

"I Don't Want Mike's Baby pie." I whispered, and the girls immediately knew I was making the recipe for the blue plate special tomorrow. "A keish base, with grated cheese sprinkled over it, and with smoked ham chunks in the center drowned in egg. Perfect for breakfast."

"Sounds great, Bella. But I don't think we can put that name on the menu board."

"We'll just call it Bad Baby pie for short."

Alice nodded, and she was silent for a few seconds, before wrapping her arms around me.

"Bella….what are you going to do?"

I was silent.

"Tomorrow, I will go see Doctor Cullen, and make sure that this baby really exists. And if it does…"

What would I do with this baby? Could I kill an innocent baby? It was my fault. I couldn't punish this baby for my fault. It's my fault I married Mike. It's my fault he changed after I married him. It's my fault I let my guard down so he get could me drunk. It's my fault I let him sleep with me.

I couldn't take my fault out on this baby.

I sighed. This changed everything.

Will I ever be able to escape Mike?

I didn't realize I'd spoken it out loud, until Alice hugged me tighter, murmuring, "Of course you will, Bella. Of course you will."

* * *

I listened to the rain as it beat down on the overhang of the diner's porch. Alice and Rosalie were silent. It felt like they were mourning.

"When are you telling Mike?"

"Never. He will never know about this Baby. I'm going to get the hell out of here as quickly as I can, and hopefully I won't ever have to tell him that—"

_Beeeep. Beeeep. Beeep. Beeep._

Mike. I felt a swell of dread as his car pulled up into the small parking lot.

"Get in," he called, and I swiftly complied.

It was blissfully silent for a minute, but I knew it wouldn't last. Mike didn't like silence. I wasn't disappointed.

"You don't look happy to see me. Ain't you happy to see me?"

"Yes, of course I'm happy to see you," I lied. "I brought you a slice of pie. Kick in the Pants pie." _I sure wish I could kick you in the pants. Maybe take away your ability to have children. You aren't fit to be a father._

Though it's not like I'm a very fit to be a mother myself.

"You didn't give me a kiss."

He waited for a second, obviously expecting me to lean over and kiss him, but I hoped I wouldn't have to.

"Well? Give me a kiss."

I complied swiftly, leaning forward to press my lips to his for a brief second, only to pull away fractions later.

"So where's the money you made today?"

I pulled it out of my pocket, handing it to him.

"Not much, huh?"

"Slow day today."

Lie.

"Hm. Well if you have one more of them I don't think it'll be worth you working there anymore. I'd rather have you at home so you could make _me _pies all day long." He stopped to chuckle softly, as if he made a cute little joke.

I knew he was completely serious.

Things were silent for a few more minutes, before he started up again.

"You didn't ask me how my day went," he said.

"How was your day."

"Ask me like you mean it."

I fought to pull my lips into a grin, before turning to him and murmuring, "How was your day, Mike?"

He shrugged. "Eh, you know."

He was silent for a moment, and I thought I was going to roll my eyes before be continued. "Mr. Stanley was on my ass about Mortgages again. But I don't make bank policy. I told him that, he just doesn't listen to me—"

_I Hate My Husband pie. You take bitter chocolate, and don't sweeten it. Make a pudding out of it, and then drown it in caramel._

_"—Bella!"_

"I—What?"

"You ain't listening to me!"

"Yes I am."

"No you're not. What'd I say?"

"You were bitching about Mr. Stanley."

"What were my exact words? And I don't bitch. It's beneath me."

"Well, I can't repeat your words verbatim, exactly—"

"You don't listen to me! It hurts my feelings! Now please just say you're sorry so I can let you out of the car so you can go make my dinner." I hadn't realized we'd been parked in front of the house. I must have really lost myself in that pie recipe.

I smiled, grinding my teeth behind my lips before responding, "I'm sorry, Mike, for not being able to repeat your words verbatim. That's something I should be able to do."

"…whenever I need it…" he prompted.

"Whenever you need it." I said, and I tried to make myself sound as sincere as possible. Maybe if I was a better wife I wouldn't have to lie to him all of the time.

He smiled, easily pleased, before moving his hand to rest on my thigh. "Well, alright then."

He moved to get out of the car, letting the lock pop out of its place on my side, and I opened the door to climb out as well.

I made my way silently to the kitchen. It didn't matter what he said to me, though, to make me feel stupid or low or inhuman. There was always my escape.

Baking was my true passion. I suppose if you looked at it from someone else's shoes, I looked like a very feminine woman. My husband took care of everything. To the outside eyes, it would seem as if I slept, breathed and lived to cook and feed my husband. I was just the weak woman my husband liked to fuck around with.

And most of the time that was how I felt, too. I tried to tell myself not to feel like that. That keeping that attitude would not make it any easier to escape. I had to remind myself that I was strong. Like my mother.

_My mother._

I shook my head, trying to clear the thoughts from my mind as I donned the cooking apron, reaching for my cooking supplies as I went to make dinner. What did Mike want? I'd known Mike for enough years to guess what he wanted for dinner by how he acted. And tonight, especially, I would have to please him.

_Spaghetti pie. You boil pasta and drown it with a rich marinara sauce in a flakey garlic bread crust, with thick juicy meatballs mixed in. Bake it all together._

I set to work, boiling the pasta in one pot, and taking out another one for the marinara, before immediately setting to work to cut the tomatoes, taking extra care not to hurt myself.

In no time the whole mouse smelled like an Italian restaurant, and I lowered the heat on the marinara to let it cook slowly while I set to work on the crust.

I took extra care to make sure that just the right amount of garlic was mixed in, kneading it, and rolling it out, before pressing it into the pan.

I could sense the spaghetti was almost at the right point where it was just the right amount of undercooked, so I made quick work of straining it, and tossing it into the crust, and then taking the marinara and pouring it over it, before tossing the meat balls in.

Perfect. I was just finishing pressing the crust along the top as I heard the oven beep.

I pulled down the door, placing the pie inside before shutting it.

This was the easy part. Mike was probably in the other room watching television. Now was the time I needed to really _think. _If I added the money I didn't give to Mike to the other money I'd hidden, I had about twelve hundred dollars. Not much, but enough to get me somewhere. If I could just ask Mike for some money, maybe if I pleased him enough to get a few hundred…tell him it's for a baking contest…

I got a glass, reaching for the sink to fill it up, desperate to quench my sudden thirst.

_I need to set the table. _I grabbed the plates, forks and knives from the cabinet and the drawers, before walking slowly to the living room to set it all up. Mike sat at the head of the table. I sat to his left.

He bought this table a few months after we'd gotten married and he moved into my mother's—newly mine—house. He didn't like the square sided table we already had, so he used some of my college fund money to buy a bigger, longer one, one with a head to sit at. I tried asking him why he did that, if we never had any guests over, but he just brushed my question away. It hurt a little bit, watching him buy that table with my mother's money, knowing I had no way to stop him.

"I smell dinner!" Mike called from the living room, and sure enough I could smell the pie. Almost done. I shook my thoughts away again, knowing it didn't do me any good to be so distracted tonight.

I took the pie from the oven, placing it on a pot holder on the table in front of his seat. Sensing it was time to eat, Mike sauntered in from the living room, sitting in his seat and smiling largely.

"Spaghetti pie?" He asked. I nodded.

"Bella, you sure know how to please me. Tell me you love me."

"I love you, Mikey." I said, and I tried my best to at least make it sound real.

He smiled. "It's been a while since you first called me Mikey. I like it."

Sometimes when he smiled, I could almost recall the reason why I first fell in love with him. He was so sweet at first. Always catering to me. Everything I wanted, he tried his hardest to make it happen. And when he smiled, he was so _handsome _that it made my heart flutter. But now I knew what was really behind that smile. Now it just made my stomach clench.

_"Mmm…" _I purred. "You look so handsome tonight, Mikey."

"Thank you, honey. And you pretty tonight, too. Maybe a bit tired, is all."

I could hear the inflection in his voice. _Get more sleep at night, _it said.

"Thanks, Mikey." I smiled. I hoped it looked real. "So…I was thinking that I want to borrow some money from you."

Mike froze, looking up at me as if I'd grown a second head before responding, "And my answer to that, of course, is no."

"There's a big pie bake-off in Jonesville in a few months, and I'd really like to go."

"And my answer to _that, _of course, is no."

His answer didn't surprise me. But that knowledge didn't stop the wave of claustrophobia I'd felt flash over me.

"The prize money is pretty good—"

The sound of Mike tossing his fork down onto his plate made me jump, cutting off my words. "Why do you want money so badly? I give you everything you need, don't I?"

"Absolutely." Lie.

"You want for nothing, don't you?"

"I want for nothing, Mike."

"Your pies ain't bad, but what's so important about that when you've got me to take care of?"

"That's a good point, Mike." I was silent after that, not wanting to push the envelope any more.

Mike chuckled, before picking his fork up again, and using it to take another bite of his pie.

The sinking feeling of claustrophobia pressed down on me a little bit more, and I tried my hardest to shake the thought that I would never escape this hell.

* * *

The whole house was silent as I slipped out of bed, walking into the living room. I'd already decided that I would put it underneath the couch cushion this time. After I was sure that it was safely tucked away, I quietly creeped back into the bedroom, slipping myself back into his arms. Reflexively I felt them tighten around me. I might have found it endearing a few years ago, if it wasn't for the fact that he whispered _Mine. _It sounded so sinister. My mind, almost as if on command began to shut down, wanting to obey Mike, if it meant getting away from him all that much sooner.

* * *

_**I never much cared for small cities.**_

Sometimes Forks felt like my own personal hell. I tried to tell myself that this was what Tanya wanted. Whatever Tanya wanted, it should make me happy as well. And Tanya wanted to settle down in a tiny city.

I always wondered how she could want to move to a small city, if it didn't have something to do with having a family.

I reminded myself that it didn't matter. Tanya didn't want kids. That was fine with me.

When I was younger, I used to imagine that I would marry some beautiful intelligent brunette, and we would have several children. This fantasy was probably fueled by the urge to have as much sex as possible as a teenager, and the fact that I was an only child and had always wanted brothers and sisters.

As I grew older, I realized that the one thing I'd really ever wanted was a girl. A baby girl.

A beautiful baby girl. And that she would grow up to have brown hair and beautiful brown eyes, just like her mother.

But instead, I had Tanya. And Tanya was wonderful. I realized as I grew older that love wasn't really something that just happened. There was no choir of angels when you meet the person that's right for you. You have to work for it. You have to work for your love.

Did I love Tanya?

I still wasn't sure. Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. But I was engaged to her either way.

And either way, I was a doctor living in the oh-so-small town of Forks, Washington.

And I didn't really have anything against small towns. I just preferred living in big ones. Like the one I grew up in. Forks was truly tiny, though. The population was little over a few thousand, and there weren't really any places to go for recreation. There was a single diner in down, Jake's Pie Diner, but other than that if you wanted to go out to eat, or go somewhere fun, you had to leave town.

I wondered how Tanya preferred this over Chicago, but that was her choice. She happened to have a dream. And it happened to be the wrong half of the dream that happened to be opposite of my own.

But that didn't matter. I was happy with her. She loved me, and I'm sure if I gave it time, I would love her too.

* * *

I was surprised when Carlisle just quit so suddenly. I thought it might have had something to do with Esme, the abused pregnant woman he'd been treating. From what I understood her husband was just released from prison, and though he'd never told me about it, I had a feeling they were seeing each other. I figured he wanted to take care of her and protect her in case something happened.

Other than that, the morning was a pretty boring one. I hadn't expected anything interesting to happen in such a small city.

"Here you go honey, just take off your clothes and put on this robe and the doctor will be in to see you in a minute."

I spent a few minutes checking over her chart, before finally entering the examination room.

I don't believe anything could have prepared me for Bella Swan.

It was almost as if she'd walked right out my fantasies. For a moment I thought I heard singing, but I realized with almost sick humor that it the clinic radio playing an old classical piece titled "Choir of Angels" for atmosphere in the background.

She had deep brown eyes and the most beautiful chocolate brown hair I'd ever seen. It looked so soft. My fingertips tingled in the anticipation of running my hands through it. Greedily, my eyes took in every detail of her face. They got stuck on her lips.

I was stunned for several long seconds, before I finally managed to pull my eyes away from to her to train them on her chart.

"Bella Swan?" I struggled to keep my voice steady.

"Are you a new nurse?"

At the sound of her voice my head had to snap up again. It was smooth, and soft and…the single most erotic thing I'd ever heard in my entire life. With horror, I could feel myself becoming aroused. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn't I control myself?

I looked up again, before finally realizing she'd been holding a pie.

"No, I'm your doctor…Is that pie for me?" I asked, still in shock. I shifted uncomfortably, balling my hand into a fist and putting it in my pocket. I hoped dearly that she wouldn't notice my sudden change in composure.

"No, you are not my doctor. My Doctor is Carlisle. This pie is for him, it's Cherry pie, his favorite."

I swallowed loudly, realizing with more sick humor that Cherry happened to be my favorite.

"He's, uh, recently retired…he—he just quit this morning. It was sudden. We didn't have time to call anyone."

"But Dr. Cullen delivered me! He's been my doctor for my entire life! I really liked and trusted him!"

"Well…maybe with time you could come to really like and trust me?"

The words slipped out before I could control them, and I hoped that she thought I meant them in the same way she did.

"I've never even seen you before."

"Yes, erm, I just moved here. Long story short, this is still Dr. Cullen's practice, I'm the junior doctor on staff…I just moved here from Chicago…Dr. Cullen had a class over the summer and I—sorry, I'm getting off topic."

I mentally berated myself. There was just something about her that made me want to tell her everything about myself.

"Anyway, it's nice to meet you," I said, taking my hand out of my pocket to shake her hand.

"What's your name again?"

"Edward. Edward Masen."

"Bella. Bella Newton."

"It says here that your last name is Swan."

"Well, yes. My maiden name is Swan. I got married years ago. That file is probably as old as I am."

My eyes darted to her hands, and that was when I noticed her wedding ring. I felt a wave of disappointment crash over me, and I struggled to fight it off. Of course she was married. She had to be the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen before in my life. Her wedding ring was simple. It looked plain, and inexpensive. If she was _my _wife I certainly wouldn't have settled for something so plain. The ring I would have gotten her would have to be every bit as beautiful as she was.

"I see," I said. I fought to keep my voice even.

"Well, what seems to be the problem?"

"I seem to be pregnant."

This day just kept getting better.

"Good!" I said, and I tried to sound happy for her. "Good for you! Congratulations!"

"Thanks, but I don't want this baby."

Again, I froze as she threw me for yet another loop. Everything she said seemed to surprise me in one way or another. "Oh…well, we, uh don't perform—"

"No. I'm keeping it, I'm just saying that I'm not as happy about it as everyone else might be. If you could please be sensitive to that, I would really appreciate it."

"Of course. Well, then. We need to do a blood test to make sure you're really pregnant, and to check for diseases, hormone levels and stuff like that."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Alright. Well, the nurse will be right in so don't go anywhere," I said, as I turned around to leave to the door.

"Nowhere to go," she murmured, but it was so quiet I wasn't sure If I'd just imagined it or not.

* * *

I was quietly panicking in my office, waiting for Bella to enter. Soon I heard a soft knock on the door, and in she walked. Beautiful and quiet.

"Hi, Bella. Have a seat."

I hadn't really realized how messy my office was until she was in it. I felt embarrassed. Was she a neat person? Would she think I was a slob?

"The seat is, um, covered with files, but you can just shove those onto the floor."

She hesitated. I sighed. She probably was a neat person. She probably thought I was some kind of pig.

"Go ahead. Don't worry." I tried to smile to reassure her.

She carefully pushed the folders onto the floor, making sure that they wouldn't open and dump their contents everywhere. She seemed so cautious of everything. So cautious of me.

"Okay, I'm going to give you this pie now, Dr. Masen."

"Oh…thank you." I must have seemed too eager when I reached forward to take the pie from her, because she flinched back. The action was so minute that I almost didn't notice it, but I felt foolish because of it. Why can't I just be calm and collected around her?

I took the pie from her hands, and when her skin brushed mine I felt the static charge shock me. My whole body shivered because of it, and I found myself becoming ever _more _aroused.

I sat down in my chair, in the hopes of hiding it. I cleared my throat, but somehow my voice was still a few bit higher than normal. I felt mortified.

"Well….un-congratulations, you're definitely having a baby."

"Un-thank you."

"So for the next eight months, if you need me, I'm right here. Please don't hesitate to call…" _for anything. Any reason at all. _"We'll be doing some tests, all of which I'll warn you about beforehand. And I'm going to give you a prescription for pre-natal vitamins. Do you have any questions for me?"

"What kind of questions?"

I groaned softly. Why did her voice have to be so…?

"I-I don't know," I stuttered. "Diet do's and don'ts, exercise…sex…."

"I don't really do much of either of those. So no. No questions."

"Any diet concerns?"

"Not really. I just eat healthy, right?"

"Eat healthy. Avoid certain fish, and cheeses. Ask Rebecca on your way out and she'll give you a sheet of general rules of pregnancies. Here's your prescription for the pre-natal vitamins."

I fumbled with it, handing it over and it fell out of hands twice before I actually managed to get it into hers. If she didn't notice how nervous I was, she'd have to have been blind.

"It was nice meeting you, Bella. I want to see you again in about three weeks." _Or tonight. Perhaps over dinner and—_

I watched as Bella nodded slowly, taking in all of the information, before mumbling her goodbye and leaving the way she came in.

I was lost for the whole day. All I could think about was how she probably thought I was crazy. And how she probably thought I was some kind of nervous freak.

And how I was engaged to Tanya. And how Bella was married. To some lucky bastard named Newton.

I hadn't really witnessed much jealousy before in my life. It surprised me when I recognized it. I'd never been more envious of a man before in my entire life. Whoever this Newton man was, he didn't deserve Bella.

Then again, I probably didn't deserve her on my best day.

* * *

That was probably the longest author's note you'll ever read from me. If you skipped over it, please go back and read it. It's all critical background information.

Disregarding the author's note, this chapter is 4,088 words long.

I don't expect this fanfiction to be a very long one. Maybe a few chapters.


	2. Chapter Two

Oui, I changed up the summary and took out any mention of The Waitress. The reaction to my fanfiction was extremely scarce, and that's probably because in the movie Jenna and Dr. Palmater(sp?) don't end up together.

There was a reason I said that this was only **loosely **based on the movie. In this version, it goes on after the ending in the movie, and yes, it will be Bella and Edward together. I think it's unfair that people are letting the biased belief that they think they know what will happen get in the way of reading this.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Recognizable characters and Twilight references belong to SMeyer. Recognizable plot belongs to Fox, and whoever it is that wrote the screenplay for The Waitress.

* * *

**Dr. Masen was probably** the sexiest man I'd ever seen, with his boy-ish manly looks, bronze hair and innocent looking green eyes. Even though I knew he probably was a married man and way out of my league, it didn't stop my ogling.

He seemed a bit strange, though. Nervous.

I didn't want to trust him. But there was something in his deep green eyes that made me feel like I was naked, and infinitely more beautiful than anyone else. Made me feel like he would never hurt me.

But it didn't matter. Soon, I would be free of this miserable town. I wasn't sure where I would go. A big city. Maybe Phoenix, Arizona. Maybe enjoy some sun after a lifetime of rain.

Or maybe Chicago. Learn about my mother's life before mine.

My heart ached at the thought of my mother.

_Not now._

The bus was late, but the ride was short. I tried to speed walk the five blocks to the diner, hoping to make up for some lost time, but I was still six minutes late.

"You're la—"

"By six minutes, I'm sorry the bus was late," I said, shoving past Emmett as I made my way to the bathroom to change.

"Why doesn't your damn husband just buy you a car already?"

"Because he doesn't want me going anywhere," I mumbled.

I shut the bathroom door, stripping out of my sweater and shirt, but I paused to look at my stomach. Could there really be a baby in there?

The door opened and Rosalie entered, startling me.

I covered up my stomach with my shirt, scooting back.

"Close the door," I hissed.

"Relax, Bella. It's not like you can see it."

I sighed. She was right. I buttoned up the front of the uniform, looking at myself in the mirror again as I tied my half-apron around my waist.

"How's the doc?"

"Fine. New Doctor. A man."

"Is he single? Might be good for Alice."

For some reason, the thought of Alice being with Dr. Masen didn't sit well with me at all. A small wave of something I couldn't identify rolled over me.

"No, I think he's married. He had a ring on his finger."

"Oh. Well, I hope she finds a good guy soon. I'm afraid the next loser to Love-Her-and-Leave-Her might be the one that pushes her into becoming a lesbian or something like—"

"Ooh" I gasped. That wave I couldn't identify rolled over me again, only more intense. And this time I realized exactly what it was.

"What is it? Are you okay, Bella? You look a little green." Rosalie's concerned voice did nothing to help, though.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just felt nauseous for a second. That's all."

I still felt nauseous, freezing as another wave rolled over me, while I felt my stomach churn.

"Good. Hey, could you do me a favor? Old Jake just sat in my section, and I don't think I can deal with him today. And you handle him much better than I do."

"Sure."

"Thanks, Bella. You're a life saver."

I nodded, giving myself another once-over, checking to make sure I still didn't look pregnant. As though it was possible for be to grow a baby bump in three minutes.

I grabbed a notepad, heading over to Rosalie's section.

"Hi, Jake. What can I get you today, my friend?"

Jake set down him paper, raising his face to look at me slowly before saying, "This is my diner. I own it."

I groaned silently, sensing a lecture coming on. "I know you do, Jake."

"And I think it's warm in here. I know I'm warm."

"I'll tell Emmett, Jake."

"They keep all of my businesses too warm," He continued, ignoring me. "My gas station, my supermarket, my laundry-mat…but this is my favorite business. 'Jake's Pie Shop'. I'm Jake, and I will not tolerate my business being too damn warm on the inside."

"I hear you, Jake."

"Turn the air on!"

"Yes sir, I'll get right on that."

He nodded, seeming pleased. "Now. I'll have two glasses of water, no ice."

"Not a problem."

"Two glasses. No ice. And I want the Bad Baby keish pie, with tomato on the side on its _own plate._"

"No potatoes with that?" I asked, knowing how he wouldn't want them with this, but that he wouldn't say that he didn't want them. And if I brought them out, he would probably send them back.

"Did I say anything about potatoes? Where'd you get potatoes from?"

"No potatoes, tomato." I confirmed.

"On its own place. And salt and pepper."

"Is that all?"

"No," he said, as if it was stupidly obvious. "I want orange juice, fresh squeezed with no ice. But don't bring that out first. Bring the water first. Bring the orange juice out with the meal."

I nodded, and he continued. "Okay. Now listen to my horoscope before you skedaddle away…'Aquarius... Smooth sailing today, as Mars enters your inner circle', whatever the hell that means... 'The ones you love will listen carefully to you today, just make sure you're careful about what you say.' Huh. I don't have ones I love." He seemed lost in thought for a moment, before tuning back in and looking up at me. "Would you like to hear yours?"

"I'm an Aquarius too, Jake. I don't have ones I love either, just ones I live with. Excuse me, I think I'm going to be sick."

I clamped a hand over my mouth as I felt the nausea roll over me again, and I ran to the bathroom before emptying my stomach out into the toilet bowl.

I groaned, holding myself for a few seconds, before standing up and going over to the sink to rinse out my mouth. _Gum. I need gum._

I knew I wouldn't have any in my bag, but I was sure Alice wouldn't mind if I borrowed some from her bag. I unzipped the bag hastily, rummaging through its contents.

"Bella?"

My head snapped up, hitting it on the coat rack. Immediately my hand went to cradle my head, hissing as I felt it throb.

"Oh my God, are you okay?!"

"I'm fine," I hissed, hoping the throbbing would stop, soon.

"What were you doing going through my stuff, anyway?"

"I just threw up. I figured you might have some since I saw you chewing on it earlier."

"Oh, I'm sorry Bella…that was my last piece. I have some breath spray you can use, though."

"Really? Even better. Thank you!"

"Here you go," she said as she handed me the small container.

I rinsed my mouth again, before spraying twice.

"Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a five minute blind date tonight with an insurance agent named Pete; five foot ten, thirty seven, all his hair, loves fishing—"

"Five minutes? What, he can't afford the whole thing?"

"No. I'm trying this new thing where I go on a date with a guy for five minutes, even if we both like really each other. This way if he's awful I only have to put up with him for five minutes."

"I see."

"And…well, I was wondering if you could make me one of your Magic Love Pies."

I frowned. I never made that pie. It was my mother's favorite recipe.

"Alice…I don't know."

"Please!" She begged, "It's my favorite. There's nothing that could ever compare to it!"

I sighed. I couldn't deny that I wanted to make it. I just wasn't sure I could without bringing up bad memories.

"Alright. I'll make it during my break."

"Thanks, Bella! You're the queen of goodness and kindness."

I just nodded, spraying the breath spray into my mouth again.

I washed my hands before going back into the kitchen to fix up Jake's meal. I froze, knowing there was something I was forgetting. _No potatoes…tomato on a separate plate…_

I shook my head, choosing to ignore it. Whatever it was couldn't be too serious. I was sure Jake would remind me.

I balanced the plate on my arm as I entered the dining area.

"Are you with child?"

The sudden shock cost me the loss of my attention to the care in my footing. Immediately in shock I tripped over my own feet, feeling with horror as the tray started to slip in my arms.

I managed to steady it, but unfortunately, the glass of water I was going to take to another customer slipped off the edge of the tray, before crashing and spilling all over the table.

I frowned, reaching into my half-apron for napkins as I starting cleaning up the mess.

"What nonsense were you speaking of?" I didn't have to pretend to sound agitated.

"When I was your age I knew a girl named Leah. I made sweet love to her all through the summer of '42, and she had that look on her face all through the fall. I almost married her right up, but she lost the baby. Close call."

"Shh, Jake, shut up. I don't want Emmett hearing it, because I can't lose this job. I need to make money so I can get away from my husband."

"Why? What's wrong with him? And where's the salt and pepper? And is that orange juice for me? I said _no ice_."

So that was what I'd forgotten. I reached over to the table next to him for their salt and pepper to add to his, and then turned my attention back to him.

"I'll go get you some more O.J., but you need to promise me that you won't say anything about this baby."

"What baby?"

I paused, reading his face, hoping he was sincere.

"Good man."

I set his plates of food down, before turning around and heading back to the kitchen, when Rosalie pulled me to the side.

"Bella, Mike's on the phone."

I frowned. "Tell him I'm busy."

"I can't. He might come over here and cause a scene again."

My frown deepened, and I pushed the glass of orange juice into Rosalie's hands.

"Here. Get Jake some new orange juice. No ice, or he'll bite you head off."

"Got it."

* * *

"Hello, Mike."

_Hey Bell. Just checking on you._

"I'm doing good, Mike."

_You don't sound happy I called._

"No, I am happy you called." Lie. "So are you picking me up, tonight?"

_I've got work to do._

"That's fine, I can get a ride with Rosalie."

_You know how hard I work, babe._

"Yes, I know you work hard, Mike. Hey listen, I've got to go. Busy day."

_Good. Love you._

"I love you too." Lie.

I set the phone back in place, before suddenly picking it up and slamming it back down.

I sighed. I shouldn't have used busy as an excuse. He'll be expecting more money than I was willing to give him.

* * *

"Your dress is really pretty, Alice," Rosalie remarked after looking away from the mirror.

She smiled, looking up and straightening her skirt. "It's a little tight around the butt, I fear."

"Oh, no worries. Men like a little meat back there. Don't they Bella?"

"I have no idea what men like," I responded, indifferent.

"Speaking of extra meat, Bella, does Mike have any idea that you're pregnant?"

"No. He doesn't notice. And he never will. I'm just going to run away, the day of the bake-off."

"Wow," Alice breathed. "How much money do you have saved?"

"Not much, but it's enough. About twelve hundred. And I can make a couple hundred more by the contest."

"What pie are you going to bake?"

"I don't know. One of my mother's recipes, maybe."

"You know what you should do with the money? You should open up your own pie shop."

I used to have dreams when I was younger about having my own pie shop. I stopped dreaming after I married Mike, but every now and then, when it was quiet and I lost myself in thought, it would come back.

"Alright, back to reality…Rosalie, could you give me a ride home?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. Take the bus."

"What? Why?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't. Not yet, at least."

"But that's not fair," Alice interjected. "We tell you everything! You can't hide stuff from us!"

"It might not be fair, but just trust me for now. Please?" She checked her watch, before gasping and mumbling her goodbyes as she ran off.

I turned to Alice.

"Well…whatever it is, I hope it's good for her."

"Same."

"Hey, could you drop me off at the bus station on the way to your date?"

"Yeah, sure. Of course, Bella!"

* * *

**I wasn't really sure** how I managed to make it through the day. I was…distracted. Bella hadn't left my mind.

Of course she hadn't. She was the fabric of my fantasies.

I sincerely hoped that this would only be a passing infatuation. Bella was _married. _And even if she was the most beautiful and intelligent woman I'd ever met, she probably was very much in love with her husband. She was too good to have an affair. And she was definitely too good for me.

And Tanya didn't deserve a cheating fiancé. She wasn't the woman of my dreams, but that didn't make her a bad person. She deserved to have a man that could give her everything she wanted…someone that would worship her every breath and treat her like a Goddess.

And I wasn't that man, but I _could _be. I just had to give it time.

Fortunately, I had plenty of time to think tonight. My car wouldn't start. I was a bit upset, but it was time for a new car anyway. This time, I wanted a Volvo.

I finished what was left of Bella's pie, while I sat at the bus stop. If I was being completely honest, I would have to say that it was the best pie I'd ever had. It was better than sex. And it brought back memories that I thought were lost, from my childhood. I couldn't remember my mother, since I was just that young when she died, but I remembered my mother made good cherry pie. Nothing like Bella's, but just taking that first bite of Bella's pie made the image of my mother sharpen a bit.

I'd just crumpled up the tin foil wrapping when I felt someone sit beside me.

"Bella?" I asked, surprised

Her eyes were closed. She seemed lost in thought.

"Bella?"

Her eyes shot open.

"What? Oh! Dr. Masen, hi! How are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Good."

I frowned, feeling the loss of emotion in her voice. _Come back, _I willed it.

"I'm not trying to sound rude, but what are you doing here? I thought you had a car."

I felt myself take in the breath I'd been holding, hearing her emotion return. "I do. It's old, though. And I need a new one. It wouldn't start, so I have to ride the bus. I was thinking of getting a Volvo, maybe."

She nodded. "Good cars. Too expensive for me, though."

I shrugged, looking down at my hands, seeing the tin foil reminding me of something I'd been dying to ask. "Did you make that pie you gave me?"

"Um, yes, I did."

"It was the most amazing pie I'd ever had. Probably the best I ever will."

She hesitated a bit, and her eyes seemed to be searching mine for something. I wish I knew what they were looking for. She seemed to find it, though, because she continued. "I…Thank you. It's not my best pie, though. Dr. Cullen tells me it's his favorite, so I make it for him every time I visit him."

I nodded, taking that in. "Dr. Cullen is a good man."

"Yes, he is. He delivered me. You wouldn't believe it looking at him, though. He looks so young doesn't he? I was his first delivery, he tells me. I don't remember him ever changing, though. Always looked the same to me. That man has great genes, I guess."

I always thought he looked a bit unnatural, personally. I'd never really said it before, but Mr. Cullen was probably the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. I felt strange thinking it, but it was just true.

"Did he ever mention why he retired?"

"Well, erm, no. He called to let me know he retired. He didn't give me a reason why, though."

I wasn't sure at first if I should tell her about what I knew about his patient, since I could have been completely wrong, so I didn't mention it.

I didn't have to, though. Talking with Bella was effortless. We never ran out of things to say. I found out that she wasn't just intelligent, she was brilliant. Eventually the conversation turned to favorite books, and I found out that she loved to read but she didn't have the money or the time to go bookstores, or to the library.

I frowned, unhappy. Reading was obviously something that made her happy, and she couldn't? That knowledge made me feel anxious. I _wanted _her to be happy. The feeling made me a bit uncomfortable. It was then that I realized that Bella seemed to hold an unconscious power over me.

The conversation went on, though, and we kept talking until the bus came, and even after we got on.

The bus ride was too short, the time filled with our words.

* * *

**"Please? Please? Please? Please?"**

I knew he wouldn't stop asking until I'd given in. Mike acted like such a child sometimes, especially for a man that was asking me to sleep with him.

"Please?"

"Mike…I just…don't feel like it. I've got a headache, and I feel about as sexy as a tree stump."

"You've never been sexier. Please? It's been two months!"

He was silent for a moment. He was probably too busy staring at my breasts. I turned to look at him, and my suspicions were confirmed.

"…is it just my imagination, or have your tits gotten bigger?"

I shuddered at his use of language."That's crazy, Mike."

"No it's not. They look like they grew a size practically overnight."

I was silent.

"Look, I've got to be with you, or I'm going to die."

I rolled my eyes, but his were still glued to my breasts so he didn't notice.

I knew I didn't have a choice, though. I could either agree and hope it gets done sooner than later, or I could draw this out, and possibly make him angry.

I sighed.

* * *

"Say something sexy," he mumbled, his hands awkwardly groping at my breasts.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, emotionless.

That must have been enough, though, because he groaned suddenly, and climaxed before collapsing on top of me.

Having sex with Mike was like losing my virginity. Again. And again. And again.

It never got better. Eventually it stopped being painful, but it was always clumsy, awkward and uncomfortable. For me, at least. He seemed to enjoy it a lot.

I don't believe I've ever climaxed once, in all of the years I've been with him.

He fell asleep pretty quickly, well spent.

The problem was that he was still on top of me. I tried to gently roll him over, and prayed that he wouldn't wake up.

He didn't.

I grabbed a plastic bag from the kitchen, making sure it was well zipped before stepping into the bathroom and slipping the top off of the toilet. I hoped the bag wouldn't leak.

* * *

"Bella!" Alice shouted, as she grabbed my arm, pulling me aside the moment I stepped into the diner.

"If someone comes in and asks for me, send him away. Got it?"

"Sure, but tell me what's going on?"

"Oh my God, Bella, yesterday was the worst day of my life. You know how I was supposed to meet some guy named Pete? Well, he sent me his cousin Oagey instead."

"Oh, I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad."

"You weren't there, Bella. It was the worst date, ever. I thought I was going to have to kill myself to get away from him! In five minutes, he went through the entire medical and psychiatric history of his family. And he told me he wants to marry me!"

"No!" I shouted, horrified.

"Yeah, and he said he's never giving up, not ever giving up. That's what he said!"

"Oh, no! That's horrible, Alice!"

"And then, when the five minutes were up, he refused to leave! He told me he loved me and that we were meant to be together forever!"

"How did you get away?" I asked her, still horrified.

"Well, I guess the whole night wasn't so bad. There was another guy in the restaurant. I think his date blew him off for someone else, but he got up and told Oagey that I obviously wasn't interested and that I was way out of his league. You should have seen him, Bella! I thought they were going to fight, but Oagey left, saying he was never giving up, and that he'd be back. When he was finally gone, I turned to look at the other guy…he was so handsome… I wasn't thinking right. I believe I said to him, 'You've kept me waiting a long time.' It was so embarrassing, but he was so sweet! We talked until the restaurant kicked us out."

"Oh…that's good, I guess."

"But Oagey came back, today! I made the mistake of telling him I worked here, before realizing how awful he was! He came here with flowers, and I got him to leave, but he said he was going to come _back! Again! _Good lord, Bella! I don't know what to do! If someone comes in asking to see me, send him away, alright? Just, I don't know…tell him I'm not here or something."

I nodded. "Got it."

She hugged me, suddenly. "Thanks, Bella! I don't know what I'd do without you."

I hugged her back, before leaving so I could quickly set up my station, getting ready as well.

* * *

"Excuse me, ma'am?" Someone tapped my shoulder, and I spun around, turning to look at a tall handsome man. He towered over me, and I couldn't help but notice his blonde hair and blue eyes. He had a bouquet of flowers.

"Yes?"

"I'm looking for a Miss Alice Brandon?" He had a thick southern accent.

Immediately, I blinked. _This _was Oagey? The creepy stalker? Why the hell would she want to get rid of him? This is the kind of guy every girl _dreams _would stalk her.

"I'm sorry, she's not here. I think she—"

"Bella!" Alice cried, appearing out of nowhere. "Bella! This is Jasper. Remember, I told you about the _other _guy at the restaurant?"

"Oh!" I squeaked in surprise. "Nice to meet you. Hey, Alice I've got to get back to work, I'll talk to you later."

"Tell Emmett I'm taking my break for me, could you?"

I nodded, leaving them alone, and I couldn't help but notice the way Jasper looked at her as she accepted his flowers, spelling them appreciatively. It looked as though he adored her.

I couldn't help but be a little jealous. Why couldn't I have what she had?

And I would probably never have it. If I finally do escape Mike, I'm never dating another man as long as I live. I can't trust myself to choose a good man. That much was obvious.

* * *

I just realized it isn't _all _human. Carlisle is still a vampire. But he isn't key to the plot. I'm just trying to fill this with as much Twilight as possible.


	3. Chapter Three

_Disclaimer:_ Recognizable characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Recognizable plot belongs to Fox, and whoever wrote the screenplay for The Waitress.

* * *

**Over the next few days **I was beginning to think my foolish infatuation with Bella had passed, before I got that phone call from her. Just the sound of her voice made my breath hitch.

"Hi, Doctor Mason? It's Bella…Swan."

I swallowed, taking a calming breath before responding.

"Hello, Bella! Is something wrong?"

"I…well, I think it's nothing, but you said to call if I have any questions…or concerns…"

"Are you alright? What happened?"

"Well, I, uh…I'm bleeding a little bit."

Immediately I could feel my doctor training surface, and I was suddenly worried for her. "Is it heavy bleeding?"

"No, no. It's very light…like spotting, but—"

I knew that this probably _was _spotting, and that if it was, it was perfectly normal, but wanted to be completely sure…and I wanted to see her again. Before I had a chance to stop myself, I went and blurted, "When can you come in?"

"Come in? To see you? I…uh…how early are you open tomorrow?"

I remembered how Bella mentioned her job opened pretty early, and how her boss hated when she was late. "Seven O' clock. Will that work for you?"

"I…yes. Wow, I didn't realize you were early so open. That's great! I'll even manage to get to work on time!"

I felt my heart squeeze, a big goofy smile taking over my face. It pleased me that I could make her happy, even if it was just for something trivial.

"Oh, I've got to get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow."

_Tomorrow. I'll see her tomorrow._

I spent a few hours with that big goofy grin on my face, before realizing that I would have to examine Bella Swan.

Suddenly, I was horrified. Why hadn't I realized this before? I could barely speak to her without acting like an idiot…I couldn't examine her!

I looked down and realized my hands were shaking.

_Well wonderful, _I thought. _What the hell am I supposed to do now?_

* * *

**"Who are you seeing **at seven tomorrow?" Rosalie asked, overhearing me on the phone.

I smirked. "I'm not telling you. Because you won't tell me _your _secrets."

"Oh…so this is a _secret?"_

I smiled. "No, I'm just going to see the doctor. There. That's my big secret, _what's yours_?"

"I can't tell you," she said, looking over her shoulder at Emmett. I understood. She didn't want Emmett to overhear.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I was interrupted by Emmett.

"Don't you have customers? Get back to work," he said, handing me a plate to take out.

I took it from him, turning around to leave, but on an impulse I turned back.

"Hey, Emmett? How come you never have anything nice to say? Like, 'How are you, Bella?', or 'Nice to see you today, Bella,' or, 'Great apple pie today, Bella!' All you ever say is 'Don't you have customers? Get out of the kitchen and get back to work.'"

He looked at me, an amused grin spreading over his lips as he offered me a second plate off the heating rack.

"Don't you have customers? Get out of the kitchen. Get back to work."

I rolled my eyes, taking the plate from his hands and walking about into the dining area.

Jasper was still there, sitting in Alice's station as he watched her work with a look of awe on his face. Every few minutes she would turn around and catch his eye, and his whole face would light up, identical to Alice's. It was almost too much to watch. I felt like I was interrupting something private.

* * *

I couldn't help but feel anxious when I stepped off the bus the next morning. Why would Dr. Mason call me in if it wasn't something serious?

I tightened my grip on the bag of peach tarts I made this morning as I walked carefully up the path to the front of the small clinic. I didn't want to admit it, but I wanted to impress Dr. Mason with my cooking. Show him that there was _something _about me that isn't completely worthless.

The door being locked confused me a bit, but I just rang the door bell, waiting patiently. I didn't have to wait long. Within a few second of ringing the door opened, with Dr. Mason smiling down at me.

"Hello, Bella."

"Good morning, Dr. Mason…I brought you some Peachy Keen tarts."

He smiled, a pleasantly surprised look crossing his face. "Wow…thanks," he said, as he led me inside.

"No problem. Where is everyone?" I asked, seeing the empty office.

"Oh, um, no one else is here. I came in early to see you…that's why I opened the door for you."

"Oh…that's…nice…" I mumbled, feeling suspicious.

As a rule, I'd learned over the years that people didn't just do things for you out of the kindness in their heart. They always wanted something in return. I wondered if Dr. Mason was really as nice as he seemed.

* * *

**"Now, you say the bleeding **was very mild?" I asked, a nervous flutter resounding in my stomach.

"Yes."

"Has it stopped?"

"Yeah, I only saw it that one time."

Immediately I took in a sigh of relief. It was definitely only spotting, then. Perfectly normal. I wouldn't have to examine her.

"Okay. Good…" I was silent for a moment, just watching her. The morning light fell in through the window, illuminating her face and making her seem as though she was…glowing. She really looked like an angel.

She coughed a little bit, and I blushed faintly, realizing that I'd been staring at her blatantly.

"Well, um, you can get dressed now, and see me in my office."

"Wait, you aren't going to examine me?" She asked, a confused tone to her voice.

"No, no need to. Just meet me in my office."

A worried look crossed over her face, and I wondered what it was for. I hesitating in leaving, wanting to say something to her, but I wasn't sure what.

I walked slowly to my office, the nervous flutter returning. I felt a little zoned out as I set the tarts on my desk, but I became curious and pulled one out, taking a bite.

It was as though there weren't any words to describe it. Immediately I was reminded again of my mother, and the image seemed a bit more sharpened.

There was a knock at the door. I put the tart back into the bag, watching as Bella entered, shyly crossing to take a seat in the now cleared chair.

"So am I okay? Is something wrong with me?"

"No, not at all. Light spotting is a perfectly normal symptom in early pregnancy. Were you concerned about a miscarriage?"

"No."

"Well then, you're free to go."

"…what?"

"You're free to—"

"I heard what you said. What I didn't understand is why you asked me to come in if 'light spotting is a perfectly normal symptom'."

I froze.

"I wasn't—"

"And what time does this office normally open? Eight thirty?"

I swallowed, a deer-caught-in-headlights look taking over my face.

"Nine."

"So I had to wake up hours early, and walk five blocks just to hear that spotting is normal?"

"Well, I—"

"And you came in two hours early, just so you could tell me something you could have told me over the phone?"

_I wanted to see you, _my mind whispered. I immediately pushed the thought back.

"I…uh…I have nothing to say to that."

"Good bye, Dr. Mason," she said, a suspicious look crossing her face as she stood up to leave.

"Good bye, Bella."

"I'll see you at your next appointment, and don't hesitate to call if you have any—"

"Questions or concerns. I got it."

She was halfway out of my office, before turning around.

"I think you're strange. I'm not sure I want you to be my doctor anymore—you make me uncomfortable."

I frowned. Of course she wouldn't want me as her doctor. I was a nervous, bumbling moron. What was I thinking? I took in a deep breath, trying to sound as professional as possible. "I'm sorry, Bella. Whatever it is I do, I will not do again… You should not be uncomfortable at this time—"

"You're doing it again!"

"What?" I asked, suddenly feeling very confused.

"I don't know…that nice-guy talking thing that you do, you just make me…oh, forget it," she said, suddenly turning around and leaving.

I looked down, wincing at the sound of my office door slamming. I deserved it, though, for having less than gentlemanly thoughts about my patient. What was wrong with me?

I looked up, seeing her purse on the chair. I grabbed it and sprinted for the main entrance, eager to catch her.

When I got outside, she was walking towards me. I guess she'd realized she'd forgotten it as well.

"You forgot your—"

She silenced me, with her lips crashed against mine, and there weren't words that could describe her. She tasted better than her cherry pie, which was saying something.

Immediately my hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her as close to me as possible, eager to hold her to me, to keep her here with me. She felt tiny, and warm, and _good _and I didn't want to let her go.

But she started pushing against me, struggling out of my grasp, and then dashing away.

The high I was riding suddenly crashed into a sudden low, as I realized she was running away from _me._

"Hey!" I shouted. "Don't run away from me!"

She froze, still facing away from me, and I strode up to her.

"Well…what do you want?"

Bella didn't ever cease to amaze me. Everything she did just kept surprising me. She had the power to make me feel unbearably happy, and uncontrollably depressed at the same time.

"I want to see you again," I said, voicing what was in my head, not bothering to censor. "I want to talk to you, somewhere outside of here…maybe we could have a coffee, or something and—"

"I can't have coffee! It's on the bad food list you gave me! What kind of doctor are you?!"

"Well, you don't have to drink coffee, you could have water, or juice or something instead."

"That's a bad idea. I married, you're married—"

"I'm engaged. Not married." But she ignored that, continuing on.

"I'm pregnant, you're my _doctor!"_

"You're right. This is crazy…it's unethical on my part, and—"

But she silenced me again, crashing her lips to mine and I was all too happy to respond. I was reminded that I hadn't just imagined it…she tasted even better than I thought she had five minutes ago. She was perfect, and one hand wrapped around her waist, while the other wrapped around in her hair, and it was _so soft._ Even softer than I'd imagined.

_Mine, _I thought, almost purely by instinct.

But again she struggled to pull away from me, and I thought I would go crazy, feeling the disappointment crash over me.

"Wait," she cried. "No kissing in the street. I have a _very _jealous husband. He'd kill you if he even saw you looking at me!"

"Is he big?" I asked, wondering if I could take him.

"He's big enough," she muttered, "And he drives right past here on his way to work every morning."

"Then maybe we shouldn't be standing here in the street."

She nodded, and we began walking back inside, before she spun around.

"No! I have to get to work. It'll take me time to walk the five blocks and catch the bus, and—"

"Let me drive you." I offered, saying anything that I hoped would keep her here with me.

"No! Yes…I don't know. Please?"

I smiled, taking her hand and leading her to my car.

_Mine, _I thought again.

* * *

**"Well, here we are." **He said, pulling up in front of the diner. I didn't move.

"And, um, thank you, for the tarts. They were amazing. And so was your pie. They were…fantastic. That doesn't even begin to describe how amazing they are…what you do with food is…unearthly…it's—"

"You're welcome." I said, cutting him off, feeling uncomfortable again. I wasn't used to people being nice to me.

"So what does this…what are we—"

"Dr. Mason—"

"Call me Edward."

I sighed. Even his name was perfect. I felt inadequate.

"Edward, I will call you if I have any questions or concerns."

I jumped out of his car, knowing full well that I wouldn't call him. I was leaving anyway. I did something stupid. It must be these damn hormones, making me do crazy things. Now that he was gone and I could think normally, I knew that whatever it was I might have just started with him I had to end. And I had to end it now. I couldn't be the other woman. I couldn't risk his life for myself. It was _wrong._

_Mike Murders Me Because I'm Having an Affair pie. You smash blackberries and raspberries together in a chocolate crust._

_I Can't Have an Affair Because It's Wrong and I Don't Want Edward to Die pie. Vanilla custard with banana…on second thought, hold the banana. _

"Don't you have a home?"

I snapped my eyes open in shock, thinking I was alone.

"Excuse me, what?" I asked, seeing old Jake standing in front of me.

"I'm wondering if you have to sleep in front of my diner because you don't have a home."

"I have a home." I responded, rolling my eyes.

"Right. And a terrible husband, I remember." He seemed to be searching my face for something, before continuing. "You've got lipstick all over your face."

"What?" I asked, laughing nervously.

"Your lipstick is smudged, like someone gave you a good one." He frowned, probably piecing two and two together, before continuing. "I'm going inside, now, and once you're done wiping away your indiscretions I'll be sitting in my usual booth waiting for some fresh squeezed orange juice, _no ice, _and a Spanish dancer pie with a potato crust."

He walked away then, and as soon as he was gone I grabbed a mirror out of my bag, looking at my face. He was right. My lipstick was all over the place. Why hadn't Edward told me?

* * *

I exited the bathroom, confident that I looked like a regular, non-cheating wife, and grabbed the glass of orange juice waiting to be taken to Jake.

"Here you are," I said, placing it on the table in front of him.

"Dear Elizabeth…do you know this column? It's for the 'lonely hearts'…'Dear Elizabeth, my husband fell in love with another woman from his work place. I want to kill myself." Jake Chucked, before continuing. "I'm wondering if you have any advice to dispense on how to write the perfect suicide note that'll hurt my _snake of a husband _and his _slut girlfriend_ the most. Yours truly, Loveless in La Push.'" He finished, laughing loudly. "Elizabeth just responds with some crap about not killing yourself."

Wonderful. As if I didn't feel bad enough. What about Edward's fiancé? What if she was a genuinely nice person? What if I'd already ruined their relationship? I tried to dismiss the thought.

Jake chuckled again, looking up at me. "I love laughing at the pain and suffering of others."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't believe for one second that you're as mean as you play. You tip me better than anyone."

"Oh, what do you know? Bring me more water for this empty glass."

"You got it."

I left him, going to get the water pitcher, but I stopped when I saw a mother and her son sitting in a booth.

"No, you cannot have chocolate milk after what you said to Mr. Riley."

Promptly, the little boy began crying loudly, causing everyone around them to look at her.

The mother looked nervously around, before looking back at her son. "I'm sorry. You can have chocolate milk."

But the little boy began crying even louder, gaining the attention of literally everyone in the entire diner. She grew panicked.

"I'm sorry sweetie, you can have as much chocolate milk as you want, okay? Do you want a cookie?"

The little boy stopped crying, and began laughing, throwing something at his mother.

"Okay." She said, resigned.

I felt horror dawning on me. In a few months, that could be me.

"Bella!" Alice shouted from behind me, making me jump.

"Oh, hey Alice."

"Come here, we've got something for you," she said, pulling me along by my arm to the sitting counter.

"Here you go, Bella!" Rosalie smiled as she presented me with something thick and flat wrapped in some beautiful paper. I frowned. I didn't want any presents.

I opened it slowly.

"What a Mother You're Going to Be," I said, reading off the title.

"We know you weren't really all that happy about this baby, but she's coming anyway," Rosalie said.

"We don't know it's a she."

She ignored me, though, going on. "So we got you something that every mother is supposed to read…and we figured that would be it."

"Thanks." I said, trying to sound convincing. "Anyway, I had this thought. You know those people who give their babies up for adoption and get money for it, through lawyers and—"

"Bella, you cannot sell your baby, that's a horrible thought!"

"I was just thinking…I mean, if I don't win this contest, then the baby is really the only valuable thing I have, and—"

"I am going to pretend I did not just hear you say that," Rosalie said.

"Not everyone wants to be a mother, Rose. That doesn't make me a bad person."

I didn't understand the look on Rosalie's face. She turned to speed away, making a noise and I was going go after her, but Alice stopped me.

"Don't. I'll go talk to her."

She hugged me. "The book isn't all that bad, Bella. There's a part in the back, where you can put pictures in of your belly as it gets bigger, and there's a part right here, where you can write your first letter to your baby."

She left me then, going after Rosalie and I was frozen. What did I say to hurt her?

I looked down at my hands, seeing the book. It was a nice thought. It was very considerate of them.

I opened it up, to that page Alice showed me. The first letter to my baby.

"Where's my water?!" Jake hollered from across the diner. I sighed, grabbing the pitcher and carrying it over.

_Dear Baby, _I thought, and I filled Jake's glass up.

Somehow, the first letter stuck in my head all through the day, and even at night, when I couldn't sleep.

As I thought about it in my head, I came to realize a few things. I had to leave. And I had to leave soon.

Mike was beginning to notice. "You sure are getting fat, baby."

I had made up my mind before I even realized it. I pulled out the suitcase after Mike left, packing my things, and looking for all of my money stores before walking out to the bus.

I suddenly got the idea to write my letter down on my paper. I sifted through my pockets, the only thing I could find being an envelope. But it would work, anyway.

_Dear Baby,_

_If I was writing you a letter, it would probably sound like an apology. I know a fine baby such as yourself deserves a good mother, who is also a good wife, and a fine member of society, but I'm afraid I can't rightly say I'm any of that._

_And I'm not sure if the world, if my world, is such a great place to bring you up in. Many of the people I've met are people not worth meeting. Many of the things that happen in the world are not worth living through._

_And you shouldn't take it personally, baby, if I'm not like every other pregnant mother…jumping all over themselves in joy. But I don't know what I have to give you, baby. If I even had anything I could give you. What if I left Mike and don't win the contest? I'll have no money. What the hell will we do then?_

_You might just be better off with another mother, then._

_All my life, the only thing I've ever wanted to do is run away. It's all I know how to do, now. There's nothing left for me to do. But I can't run away from you. You don't deserve that. I wish I could feel other things, like excitement that I'm not alone anymore, or faith that I'll be a good mother…even if the world isn't such a great place, and life as I see it isn't as pretty as they'd see it in this book._

_Anyway, I'm writing this letter to you. It sounds more like a letter to me, doesn't it?_

_Love, Mama._

Beeeep. Beeeeep. Beeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeep!

I froze, horror dawning on me and slipping down my back like someone had cracked a cold egg on my head.

The car pulled up, and Mike climbed out, slamming the door. I flinched. He stormed over to me, leaning over and putting his face in front of mine.

"Where are you going, Bella?"

"Nowhere, Mike." I said, and then realized my mistake. "I mean, to work. I'm going to work."

"Yeah? Well why do you need a fucking suitcase to go to work?"

I was silent.

I didn't expect his hand to flash out and strike me across the face. Mike hadn't ever hit me before. It was enough to make me cry.

"Get in the fucking car."

I tried to stop my tears, knowing that they would only fuel Mike's anger, but the stinging in my cheek coupled with my disappointment of my foiled escape just made them come faster.

Mike was silent for several minutes. I knew that wasn't good. It meant he was stewing inside. I tried harder to stop my tears, and eventually was left with hiccups. I held my breath, praying for my sake that they would go away. Soon.

"Tell me the truth. Where were you going?"

I knew I couldn't lie without giving myself away. I had to at least tell him part of the truth.

"A pie baking contest. I was just going to go up there and win, and surprise you."

He was silent for several more minutes.

"Pie baking contest. No. You're lying. You ain't never been in any contest before in your life. You're lying."

His tone made the horror creep back down my spine.

"You're lying to me," he growled, taking his hand and rubbing it in my face.

"Mike!" I cried, terrified.

"Why are you lying to me?!" He shouted, reaching over and doing it again.

I wasn't thinking anymore. I knew that he would probably beat me senseless unless I did something to stop him.

"I'm pregnant!" I cried.

He slammed on the brakes.

* * *

"When were you going to tell me?" he growled, as I set tonight's dinner pie down on the table. His favorite. Again.

"After I won the pie contest," I whispered, still terrified. I'd told him. I was never getting away, now.

"Well you ain't going to no pie contest," he said, raising his fork and pointing it at me. "You ain't going nowhere."

I felt the tears welling up again, and I shut my eyes trying desperately to stop them.

He looked back down at his plate, taking another bite of the pie.

"Here's the thing," he started, after swallowing. "What if you decide to love the baby more than you love me? Women do it all the time. They have the baby and it's to Hell with the man."

I froze, not believing what I was hearing. "You're jealous of the baby?"

"No. I don't get jealous. It's beneath me. I'm just talking it out…talking my feelings out. And I know how women get…I'm just not sure I want that happening." He took a few more bites of his pie. "I'm not telling you to get rid of it, but I want you in the same place as me in the hereafter if you know what I mean."

I couldn't believe it. He was jealous of the baby.

"Maybe if you promised me," he went on, "That you wouldn't love the baby more than you love me—that you'd make an honest effort to love me more. If I need something, you keep taking care of it. You hold on to me more. _I _come first. Not any baby."

He waited.

"Well," he probed. "Can you make Mikey that promise?"

"Absolutely," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Say, 'I promise'."

"I promise."

"Say, 'I promise, I will _not _love the baby more than I love you, Mikey'."

"I promise I will not love the baby, more than I love you Mikey."

_Lie. _Even if I didn't love this baby at all, I would still love it more than I loved him.

He smiled, then. "Well how about that? We're going to have ourselves a baby!"

I looked back down at his food, taking another bite of the pie. "A baby boy. Mike Jr."

Suddenly, it hit me. I was carrying his child. I was never getting away from him now.

I ran from the table.

"Where are you going?" he demanded.

"Gotta go throw up," I called. I wasn't even lying this time.

* * *

A month later, I was still stuck in Forks.


	4. Chapter Four

Sorry!** I can't believe I actually uploaded this early**...what was I thinking? I changed it a little bit, and added more. **Please reread it…sorry.**

_**Disclaimer**_: Recognizable characters are SMeyer's. Recognizable plot is Fox's.

* * *

**_One Month. A whole damn month._ **A whole month of not knowing if Bella was alright. A whole month of looking Tanya in the face and knowing that there was nothing there.

A whole month of rolling over in the morning and feeling that intense wave of disappointment when I saw a different face lying on the pillow beside me than the one in my dreams.

A whole month of going _crazy. _

Not a single word from Bella. I began seeing her appointment as a dark day. She would tell me how she couldn't be near me, how she wanted a new doctor, and that she never wanted to see me again.

I wasn't sure I even wanted to enter the examination room. I wondered if I should have just saved her the trouble and assigned her a new doctor.

At the same time, the promise of her being on the other side of the door was…intoxicating.

"I'm not nervous," I heard Bella stutter. My breath caught. It was too late now. I had to see her. I took in a deep, calming breath, before reaching for the handle.

"Hello, Bella." I greeted, entering the room, trying not to look at her. "Today we're going to do an ultrasound, to see how the baby is developing. I'm going to ask you to lay back on the table and lift the bottom of your gown a bit. This won't hurt at all, though the gel might be a little cold."

She complied, and suddenly I couldn't look away. Her stomach was beautiful, with pale creamy skin stretched beautiful over a tiny baby bump. I wanted to ghost my fingers over it, just to prove to myself that her skin couldn't possibly be as soft as it looked.

I swallowed, placing a little glob of gel on her stomach, before taking the wand to look for the heart beat.

And then I found it. And even though it was only a heartbeat, I was filled with pride that I shouldn't have been allowed to feel.

"Here we are…" I murmured, watching the screen. "We are definitely having a baby. Do you want to see?"

"I guess," she sighed, turning her head to look at the screen.

"See that flickering? That's the heartbeat."

"Huh. It doesn't look like much, does it?"

_I disagree. I've never seen_ _anything more magnificent._

I wasn't looking at the screen anymore. I was watching her. The way her lips were full and begging to be kissed, the way her hair, even in the darkness of the room looked shiny and soft. The way her sad eyes seemed so deep, and so intelligent.

But then her eyes flicked up to mine, and I saw a spark of something. Something I was sure I wasn't supposed to see. My breath hitched again.

"Alright, Miss Norma, that's all we need you for," I said, dismissing the nurse, willing my voice to stop sounding so nervous.

I gave Bella a towel, and she wiped off the gel.

I wanted to do it for her. Anything to brush my fingers against her skin.

Miss Norma flicked the lights back on, as she left the room.

"Well, there you have it." I said, gesturing at the ultrasound screen.

"Yeah."

We were silent for several minutes. It seemed to scream in my ear, and when I couldn't take it anymore, I went to break it.

"And…I guess we are officially forgetting about the nonsense that happened last month."

I didn't want to forget about it.

"Yes. We officially are."

I tried to stop myself from frowning, but I still couldn't prevent my shoulders from dropping a little bit, and feeling the intense wave of hurt that rolled over me.

"I wanted to apologize," _lie, "_For what I did last month. I almost called just to apologize." _Lie. _I wanted to call alright. It sure as hell wasn't to apologize. "I was so stressed out at the time, with all of the new patients, and I hadn't been sleeping well, and my judgment wasn't what it normally was. I just want you to know that it'll never happen again."

_No matter how much I want it to. _

"From now on, our relationship will be strictly a medical and professional one."

She didn't say anything, though. I grew anxious. _Say something, _I wanted to beg. _Anything!_

She jumped from the table, wrapping her arms around my neck, moving her lips with mine furiously, and I accepted them like a man dying of thirst would accept water.

_Finally. Home. At last._

* * *

_**Dear Baby,**_

_I'd want to be able to teach you the difference between good and bad…right and wrong._

_But it seems I'm not in any kind of position to teach anything to anyone._

"Dr. Mason? Are you still in there? You have a phone call."

Miss Norma was knocking on the examination room door. Immediately, Edward jumped back, as if he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Immediately, I felt the ache of the loss of his skin against mine.

I didn't know how he did it, but when he spoke, he managed to keep his voice smooth and even.

"I'll be right out, Norma."

I could hear something different in it, though. Miss Norma must not have noticed it, though. She entered the room, carrying a clipboard, and Edward spoke again.

"Mrs. Newton needs to be weighed, could you take care of that for me?" He turned to me then, before continuing. "You can get dressed, and I'll see you in my office in a few minutes."

* * *

It was like a staring contest. I couldn't look away. I was like a rat caught in a snakes gaze.

He was the first to break the silence.

"Don't to do that again."

His voice sounded choked, strangled. Desperate.

"What?—I won't—Kiss you, you mean?"

"No! Not that. Don't go away for a full month and not call!"

"No questions, or concerns—"

"Don't do that, either."

"This is crazy, Edward. It's not right."

"I really don't want to have another conversation about how crazy this is, or how sorry I am, and how I'll never do it again. Not only would I be lying, but all that happens when I start to say these is you attack me."

I was stuck looking in his eyes again.

"Have you been taking your prenatal vitamins every day?"

"Faithfully."

"Any bad morning sickness?"

"Not too bad, no."

"No more spotting?"

"No more spotting."

"Good."

I looked down at my hands.

I could hear him crossing the room. I could feel him crouching next to me, but I still didn't look up.

"Bella," he whispered. He sounded so vulnerable.

Feeling how exposed he sounded made me look up again, into his eyes. He looked so delicate. Like a single word I said could break him. Slowly, I reached in to press my lips to his, and he met me halfway. It was the first tender kiss we shared.

And it was wonderful. The whole day I felt the aftermath of his kiss. It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

* * *

_Dear Baby,_

_At first, it was just about the sex._

After spending so many years with Mike, and then suddenly having Edward, I could suddenly understand why so many people made such a big deal out of it. Sex was great. Really, really great.

It was as though Edward was tailor-made to be my lover. Every touch, every sigh was made carefully and perfectly, as though each one was calculated and calibrated to elicit a reaction from me. He always made sure I finished first, and he was always mindful of the baby.

He was perfect.

And for a while, I thought things might just be okay. I started to imagine what it would be like if I didn't run away. If I stayed, and if I just explored this relationship with Edward.

I should have known things couldn't stay that way, though.

I was very zen as I sat in the waiting room, waiting to be called.

I knew what was yet to happen. I was excited, a little bit. And I yearned a little bit to just see him again. I began to realize that the only time I was really at peace was when I was with him. I tried to tell myself that this was only a purely physical relationship, but I knew I was beginning to feel something else.

It didn't matter, though. It wasn't like anything more could ever happen. And I was happy with what I had right now.

"Mrs. Newton, the doctor will see you now."

I smiled, standing up and heading for the examination room.

"Hello, Bella," a different voice greeted me when I stepped into the room.

I froze. "Dr. Cullen! Oh, hello! I thought you were retired."

I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"Semi-retired. I'm only back for the day. Dr. Mason had an emergency and flew back east with his wife for a funeral."

"Oh, is he coming back?"

"I can't be sure, but I think so. So how are you doing these days?"

"I'm fine. Knocked up and everything."

"I heard," he said, looking down to see my now showing stomach. "How's it working out with Dr. Mason?"

"Great!" I squeaked. I wondered how guilty I sounded. "He's a great doctor."

"Good. Well, today we're going to do some blood work. It's standard procedure, to see how the baby is developing."

Wonderful. First Edward leaving, and then blood work. I hoped I wouldn't pass out this time.

"I don't care. Do I have to do it?"

"Yes, you have to do it," he said, smiling at my reluctant tone. He knew how I was with blood. "You might be a little weak afterward, so you might want to call your husband and ask him to pick you up."

This day just keeps getting better.

"Yeah, I'll do that, then."

"Is that pumpkin pie for me?"

"Sort of…it's just something I invented." I looked down, holding the pie out for him to take. "Naughty pumpkin pie," I mumbled.

* * *

I had a lot to think about while Mike drove me to the diner.

I thought about Edward. Was he alright? Who's funeral was it? Was he sad?

But I also thought about his fiancé. I usually tried to avoid it, because I didn't want to feel like the other woman. Sometimes I liked to imagine that she was so terrible that Edward had a legitimate reason for not being faithful.

But I knew she was probably a good person. And that always made me feel like a…slut. That's why I tried to avoid those thoughts.

When I got to the diner, Rosalie was already there. She seemed upset, and had a large bruise on her cheek, but when I asked her about it, she just brushed me off.

"I'm fine," she said.

Alice arrived a few minutes late, being dropped off by Jasper. Her make-up was smudged. And she was damn proud of it.

Together, the three of us went back to the kitchen to prepare the pies for the day.

For the most part, we were silent. Rosalie seemed to be distracted, and almost sliced her hand. After that we traded places, and I let her knead the dough.

When I was done, I looked down.

"It's time for me to tell Emmett. Do you have the oven under control?"

"I do."

"Wish me luck."

"Wishing you luck, hon."

I took my time walking over to him, and when I finally reached him I realized that I didn't know what to say.

"Well…uh…"

"What do you want?" he asked, turning around to face me.

"I….it seems I'm almost five months pregnant," I said, closing my eyes, wondering if he might at least keep me on staff for another month or so.

"Yeah? So?"

I froze. "Well, I just thought I should tell you."

"I already knew."

"…you did? Who told you?"

He scoffed. "No one had to tell me. Look at you. What, did you think I thought you just went and got fat?"

He laughed loudly, before finishing. "Frankly, as long as you can carry a tray and fill a pie tin, I don't care if you give birth while doing it."

I was still surprised. "Wow…thank you, Emmett. You don't know how much this means to me."

"Well, maybe I'm not such a bad guy."

I smiled, before reaching forward suddenly and hugging him.

He seemed surprised, before hesitantly hugging me back. "Just take it easy, alright?"

I nodded, pulling away.

"Now. Get out of the kitchen. Get back to work."

I laughed.

* * *

I set two milkshakes down on a table, before crossing over to Old Jake's table.

"Hello Jake, my friend, how are you today?"

Jake set down his newspaper, turning to look me in the eye. "Same bastard I was yesterday, Bella. How are you?"

"Same train wreck."

"And how's the baby?"

"So far, so good. No problems, no birth defects, no diseases…whatever."

"Good, good. And how's the bad husband?"

"Same awful son a bitch as he always was."

"And the lipstick smudger?"

"…the what?"

"The dog on the side? The affair."

"Jake, I'm not having an affair."

Jake and I had really become friends over the last few months. He was a great guy, once you earned his trust. He knew about the affair. And I spent most of these last four months trying to convince him there wasn't one.

"Right. Before you take my order do you want to hear your horoscope?"

"No."

"Too bad," he said, picking up his newspaper and opening it to the centerfold. "Here it is. 'Aquarius….if in fact you _are _having an affair, maybe you should step back, revaluate your life and reassess things a bit.'"

I rolled my eyes. "Jake, we both know it doesn't say that in there."

"Yes it does," he said, smirking before continuing. "It says, 'Even if you have a miserable snake husband, you shouldn't be having an affair because it's beneath you, and might make you look like a common hussy. Not to mention the pain you could cause other people.'"

"You're just making that up."

He just took off his reading glasses and looked me in the eye. I wondered if maybe there was a story behind his disapproval of my affair.

"This afternoon I'll have the Singing Tuna Fish Casserole, no pickle on the plate, with well done French fries and melted Swiss cheese and gravy on their own plate. And a slice of Bella's special Strawberry Chocolate Oasis pie."

"Got it."

He must have noticed I wasn't happy today, though, because he called me on it.

"And give me a smile, Bella. Please? No one can make Strawberry pie like you can. Hell, Wednesday is my favorite day of the week because of it. I plan my whole week around that pie. I think about it as I wake up. You could solve all the problems of the world with that pie."

I scoffed. "You're making too much of it, Jake. It's just a pie."

"Just a pie?" He asked, incredulously. "Have you lost your mind? It's downright expert. A thing of beauty, how you make each flavor open up, one after another, like a chapter in a book. First, the flavors of the spices…barely a whisper of exotic taste. Then you're flooded with chocolate. Dark, and bittersweet…like an old love affair. And finally strawberry…the way strawberry was always supposed to taste, but never knew how."

I knew he was probably only saying it to make me feel better, but his words did make me smile. Jake knew how to do that. He was probably one of my closest friends.

"In fact, forget the other stuff, just bring me the whole damn pie. I don't care if it's not a balanced meal."

"You got it, Jake."

"I might not have much time left, you know."

I rolled my eyes. "Then I'd better bring it out right away."

"Yes ma'am, you'd better." He chuckled.

I looked down at my pad, heading back to the kitchen to drop off the order.

As I entered the kitchen, however, I heard a loud moan and froze, looking up and seeing Rosalie and Emmett kissing passionately on the counter.

I must have gasped loudly, because Rosalie squeaked in surprise after seeing me, and jumped off the table top to run after me.

"Bella, wait!"

I ran straight for the bathroom, leaning over the sink. I didn't turn around when I heard Rosalie enter and lock the door behind her.

"Your poor husband," I hissed, still not looking at her.

"No, Bella, I need to talk to you."

"No, Rosalie! Having an affair is a terrible thing! It destroys people's lives! You don't want to get messed up with that!"

Immediately, she sat down on the purse bench, frowning.

"Bella, I know this looks horrible. But I'm going to talk, and I don't want you to say anything until I'm done, alright?"

I frowned, looking down, nodding my head.

"Do you remember when I was upset when you said that thing about not everyone wanting a baby?"

I nodded.

"Well, Royce decided he wants a son. So we've been trying. And…well…it's been almost a year now."

"At first…we thought it was just bad timing. So we kept trying. But then he became angry at me. He kept telling me I was a bad wife, and that I was a failure as a woman for not being able to give him a child." She looked down, folding her delicate hands in her lap. "And he's right. I am a failure of a woman."

"Rose, you know that's not true." I made a move to hug her, but she waved me off.

"The first time he hit me, I told myself that I deserved it. And that if I could have given him children, he wouldn't have done it."

I gasped, suddenly angry. "That's where you got the bruise, isn't it?"

She was silent.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I shouted.

"Because it doesn't matter," she sighed. "And Emmett is just…there. And he's sweet, and nice, and he takes care of me."

I was silent for a moment. "Do you love him?"

"I don't know. I think…I might."

"Then why don't you divorce him?"

"I can't. He'd kill me. And I can't just run like you can. I have ties here. Family. Love. I can't leave him without shaking everything up."

"Rosalie," I started, but she went on.

"And what makes this whole thing worse, is that…I want the baby too. I _want _a baby! And I can't have it because I'm defective! You can have a baby completely on accident, and I can't have one even when I try!"

I reached for her when her shouting turned to sobbing, and gently stroked her hair with one hand, rubbing her back with the other.

"You aren't defective, Rose. You're probably the most beautiful woman on this side of the Mississippi. You're a wonderful friend, and a brilliant person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We'll figure something out. I know we will."

But while I was consoling her, all I could think about was how huge of a hypocrite I was. Telling her not to have an affair when I was having one myself.

I knew I wasn't being fair to Edward, if I was just going to leave eventually. I couldn't keep dragging this out. I couldn't keep ruining his life, the one he had with his wife.

There was a knock at the door.

"Bella?" It was Alice. "There's a cute guy here to see you. He says he's your doctor."

I frowned.

Well now. That's just perfect.

* * *

**The last few months **had been…probably the best few months of my life.

Making love with Bella was like nothing I'd ever felt before in my entire life. I knew that I shouldn't have let it happen, but I was growing attached to her. I didn't like not being around her. I dreamed about her almost every night. I couldn't look Tanya in the eye when I kissed her, or when we became intimate. I tried to avoid intimacy at all costs.

I felt like my whole life was wrapped around her.

So when we got back from my father's funeral, I knew I had to see Bella. I knew that just holding her would make my whole life make sense again.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, rounding the corner.

"I….I just got back from the funeral. I wanted to see you," I murmured, taking in her eyes. Something was wrong though. They seemed…flat. Hard. Something wasn't right.

"I have to work." Her voice sounded flat. I tried to ignore it.

"When can I see you again?" I asked, searching her face. She looked away.

"Edward, I've been thinking."

She refused to look at me. I began to panic.

"I think we should end this."

_No. _

"Bella, no, please, I l—"_ Please don't leave me._

"No, Edward. I feel like a terrible person…I can't live with this. It's not right. Please don't get all nervous and sweet. Please don't talk me out of it. _Please._ Just finish your pie, and leave. _Please_."

Her voice was choked, and I stood up, reaching for her but she whispered an apology and ran off.

I felt dizzy, suddenly, and sat back down.

I looked at my pie, appetite lost, before flinging down a twenty and running out to my car.

I don't really remember how I managed to get through the day. I remembered driving home, and just crawling into bed.

I remember I might have cried a little bit, but I felt so stupid doing it that I tried to stop.

Why did this come as such a surprise? I knew that it had to end eventually, didn't I? I knew that Bella could never really ever be mine, right? I knew that she was too good for me all along. Hadn't I?

So why did it hurt so _much?_

_

* * *

_

"Are you alright, Edward?"

I looked up from the plate. "What?" I said, before the words registered in my mind. "Oh, yeah. I'm fine."

I looked back down at the chicken Tanya had cooked for dinner. It was alright. A little dry. If I was being honest, I would admit that I'd been spoiled by Bella's cooking.

"You've been…distracted these last few months."

I froze, unsure how to answer. "Oh. Yeah. Things really kicked up after Dr. Cullen left the practice up to me. I guess it's finally starting to take its toll."

She seemed to accept it, before going back to eating her food in silence. I was grateful for that. I didn't feel like speaking. I didn't even feel like _living._

How is it right that one person could have such an effect on me? How did I even let it happen?

After being with Bella, I knew that I probably wouldn't find another person as perfect for me as her. There would never be another person that could make my blood boil just by whispering my name. There would never be another person that could understand exactly what I was thinking just by looking into my eyes.

I knew I had to set things right with Tanya. Eventually, I knew I'd have to end things with her. I just couldn't do it now. What would I say?

_Dear Tanya,_

_I've bee_n_ fucking one of my patients for the last several months behind your back. And somehow, I managed to fall in love with her, though I hadn't told_ her_ that yet. Only she left me, because she's quite obviously too good for me. So now I'm back to being faithful with you, though I've got to admit that every time I'll ever kiss you or sleep with you, I'll be imagining you're_ _Bella._

I'm sure that would have gone over great.

I guess I'd just have to wait, then.

I wondered if the aching in my heart would ever fade with time.

_I can't do this._

_

* * *

_

She opened the door with her hair flying every which way, and shadows under her eyes that were so deep that I worried about the health of the baby.

I couldn't tell you exactly how I'd ended up on her doorstep.

I remember nightmares of a life without her, and I remember calling into work sick. And I remember waiting, parked on the side of the road, waiting for his car to drive by.

"You look terrible, Bella."

"Thanks."

"No, sorry…that's…not what I meant. Did you get any sleep at all last night?"

She ignored me.

"What are you doing here?"

"I…I had to see you."

"Edward—"

"Please? May I come in?"

"No."

I was frozen. I had expected that.

It didn't hurt any less.

"Yeah," she finally sighed, stepping aside.

I stepped inside, after her, and after she closed the door, I took her face in my hands.

"You look…so sad."

She was silent for a moment, but then she spoke.

"It's taken you a long time to notice this, Edward, but I'm not a happy woman. And I don't want you to save me."

"I want to save you," I whispered.

"Don't want to be saved," she murmured back.

I was silent as I took her into my arms, just holding her. She felt warm, and I felt right again.

_Home, _I thought.

* * *

_**Dear Baby,**_

_I hope someday, someone holds you for twenty minutes straight…and that's all they do. They don't try to pull away, or kiss you, or talk, or anything. They just hold you tightly, and that's all they do without an ounce of selfishness in it._

He told me that he wanted me to teach him how to bake a pie and I smiled. I could do that.

So I set to work on melting the chocolate, and he set to work on kissing down the side of my neck.

It was distracting, to say the least.

"Now the berries," I murmured. Leaning into his touch, and feeling the absence when he pulled away.

I could hear the sound of the mortar ringing against the pestle, before he returned his attention to my neck.

"I'm finished," he whispered against my skin. My knees felt a little weak. Only he could make crushing berries into something erotic.

I moaned softly, before pulling away.

"I can't let the chocolate burn."

He smiled, watching as I mixed the chocolate, taking the pan across the room to set it on the counter.

"I love watching you."

I ignored him, spreading the chocolate into the crust.

"Once the chocolate evens out, you'll pour the berries on top."

"I'll pour the berries on top," he repeated, watching the chocolate intently, as he leaned against me, placing his hands on my hips.

"My mother used to call this one Lonely Chicago pie." I had no idea what made me talk about her, but suddenly, I was talking about her. And it didn't hurt. "She made hundreds of different pies. Each one had a different name, like Car Radio pie or Jenna's First Kiss pie—"

He turned me around gently, pressing his lips to mine for a quick kiss.

"Now the berries," I said, as he pulled away. I watched him as he took the berries and spread them out over the chocolate.

"She taught me everything I know about baking," I whispered, after he turned back to me. "And she would sing while she did it, too. There was this song she always used to sing…the pie song.

_"Baby don't you cry…gonna make a pie…gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle. Baby don't be blue…gonna make for you, gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle."_

I took the knife, trying to spread the berries around as evenly as possible, before turning around to open the oven. I made sure it was at the right temperature, before I slid the pie in.

_"Gonna be a pie from heaven above. Gonna be filled with strawberry love. Baby don't you cry, gonna make a pie…hold you forever in the middle of my, heart."_

"You are so beautiful," he said, taking my face in his hands again, and kissing my lips as softly as he could.

"No I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm fat."

"You have a baby growing in you," he chuckled. "There's nothing more beautiful."

"It's an alien and a parasite. It makes me tired, upset and weak, and it complicated my whole life. I resent it, most of the time. I have no idea how to take care of it." I frowned. "I'm the anti-mother," I murmured.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I sighed. "I want to know….what the hell you're doing here."

He seemed confused. "I'm learning how to make Lonely Chicago pie," he answered.

"No, I mean, here, in this godforsaken little town. You hate small towns."

"My wife."

I frowned, lightly. So the only reason here was here, with me, was because of his wife?

That's just fucked up.

"She finished med school, and she wanted to come here for her residency, so we did."

So she's a doctor, too? I hated how inadequate I suddenly felt.

"Are you happy with her?"

There. I'd said it. Was it too late to take it back?

"Wait. Never mind. I don't want to know."

But he took my hand in his, pressing his lips to my palm. I couldn't look at him."I'm happy here. With you."

I looked up into his piercing green eyes. They were sincere.

"That's a good answer," I murmured.

"You make me feel calm. And you make me feel peaceful, which I guess I don't feel much. I tend to be neurotic. And you're so beautiful."

I was silent, and I smiled. It felt good, to finally hear someone talk to me like that.

"Keep going."

He chuckled.

"And you're so sexy. And I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad brown eyes of yours."

I didn't let him continue, though. I was too busy attacking his lips with my own.

* * *

_Dear Baby,_

_Somewhere between the space of baking the pie, and Mike eating it later on that night transpired the most intimate conversation I'd ever had in my entire life. About how I'd ended up with Mike, how he changed after we got married, how he became someone I feared. And how my mother died, how much she loved me, and how sad she'd be to see how things turned out like this. How I got pregnant with you, and how I yearned to escape._

_And how lonely it is to be a woman, so poor and so afraid._

_And then I was addicted, baby. I couldn't stay away from him. I knew these feelings were dangerous, because I had to leave soon, but I knew I was in love with him._

_I'd hoped that not saying it out loud would make things stay alright. _

_But I was so addicted to saying things and having them matter to someone. And having someone smile at me and tell me I was beautiful, and know that they meant it._

* * *

_**"I've never had a real best friend before," **_Bella whispered to me a few months later, as she straddled my lap in my office. "Except for my mother."

I laughed.

"I have a present for you."

She frowned. "A present?"

I knew how much she detested presents, but I just couldn't not give her something. I felt that I had to…show her, exactly how I felt for her.

"I'm so sick of getting presents from everyone for the baby. And I can't stand getting presents from you. I can't pay you back."

Her frown made me feel desperate to get it off her face. To make her smile again. I pressed my lips to hers.

"It's not another baby present. It's just…a present. I saw it, and knew you needed it, so I got it for you."

She looked confused, and I reached down for the wrapped parcel, and handed it to her.

"I…what is it?"

"Unwrap it," I smiled.

I watched her face intently as she peeled the wrapping paper back, her face lighting up.

"An Emilie Henry pie dish…I can't…Edward, it's too much."

"Nonsense," I said, shaking my head. "You need a new one anyway. And I wanted to get you something special."

"Why did you do this?"

I didn't understand what she meant. "You know why ," I said, confused.

"No, I don't."

I wasn't sure what to say for a few seconds, but somehow, it just felt like the right time to tell her. I took a deep breath.

"Because I've fallen head over heels in—"

She crushed her lips to mine then, in a desperate kiss that only made me desperate to respond.

I just couldn't help but worry. Why wouldn't she let me tell her?

* * *

I hear nominations have begun again over at the Twilight awards. I don't believe there's a category for this, though, so I wouldn't bother nominating me for anything.


End file.
